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The 2014 Farmers Almanac
Farmers' Almanac

Don’t kiss your elbow, you will turn into a boy!

Most of us have heard and perhaps even used on our own children, some weird warnings — you know like you can’t go swimming until you let your food rest in your stomach for 30 minutes, or don’t sit so close to the TV or you’ll go blind. Well last Friday we asked our web visitors to share with us “the most outrageous thing your parents ever told you to stop you from doing something.”

Some of the answers were so funny we had to share. Enjoy:

Don’t touch toads, they give you warts.

If you don’t put your tongue back in your mouth, I’m going to make tongue soup for dinner.

If you keep picking at your bellybutton, your guts are going to come out of it.

Never slap someone older than you, your hand will shrivel up and fall off.

If you kiss your elbow you will turn into a boy!

If you stick your lower lip out, a bird will come along and poop on it.

My mom used to tell us eating dough would give you worms.

White milk came from white cows and chocolate milk came from brown cows.

If you don’t brush your hair you will get rats, that’s why they call them rat’s nests!

Eating burnt biscuits would put hair on your chest.

Don’t pick and eat a green apple off of the “tree” you will end up in the hospital!!

If you play with fire, you’ll wet the bed.

I was told if I was a bad child the gypsies would come and take me away.

Don’t swallow your gum because then you will fart bubbles!!

Have any more unusual ones to add?


1 Debbie { 05.26.14 at 7:56 pm }

If you swim before Memorial Day you get polio.

An early grades cool teacher used to tell us ” you can’t wear your galoshes/boots in school! You’ll go blind!

2 Carla Donahue { 05.26.14 at 5:37 pm }

My Nona didn’t like it when I would hang upside down because I would get too much blood in my brain and drown.

3 Carla Donahue { 05.26.14 at 5:32 pm }

My Mom would tell me if I cracked my knuckles my hands would look like boys hands.

4 marcia mcdaniel { 05.26.14 at 4:53 pm }

my grandpa used to tell us his plug of chewing tobacco was a brownie and that we couldn’t eat it because our gramma was not a good cook and it would make us sick,

5 marcia mcdaniel { 05.26.14 at 4:51 pm }

when my kids were at certain ages they kept saying mom, mom, mom, and you all know how annoying that can be so i used to tell them i changed my name to “hit me hard please” it took a couple of whacks for them to get the hint but they finally did..

6 Cindy Blake { 05.26.14 at 10:54 am }

If we were pouting, we can ride to town on that lip. If we said something stank, you were smelling your own upper lip.

7 Thelma Yates { 05.26.14 at 9:59 am }

My young daughter loved pickels. One evening before bed she asked for one and I didn’t want to get up to get one so I told her if she ate them late at night she would have nightmares. She was about 10 came home from a slumber party so proud because she ate a pickel about 10 pm and didn’t have nightmares. Finally confessed.

8 Jama Walters { 05.26.14 at 9:38 am }

Step on a crack you will back your Mothers back.

9 Jams Walters { 05.26.14 at 9:35 am }

Keep crossing your eyes like that, they will stay that way

10 sheila { 05.26.14 at 9:13 am }

Asked to drink coffee told No, you are still wet behind the ears

Ask where’s mom. Told she went to town and the hogs ate her.

When fighting we were told you never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.

11 Bob Butler { 05.26.14 at 8:37 am }

My mother used to say: Don’t stick your lower lip out too far; someone may step on it!

12 Bob Buer { 05.26.14 at 8:35 am }

When we were riding with my Dad, his favorite advice to my brothers and me was: Don’t stick your elbow out too far, it may go home in another car.

13 Gregg Schafer { 05.26.14 at 8:02 am }

Don’t make a face or it will stay that way. Don’t swallow watermelon seeds or they will grow inside you. Don’t lie or you will get a blister on your tongue. If you stub your toe you did something wrong that day and need to apologize. Break a mirror, seven years bad luck. Don’t eat glue our your mouth will glue shut. Put a buttercup (flower) under your chin, if it your chin shows yellow you like butter.

14 Monica { 05.26.14 at 7:02 am }

My grandparents were root farmers–radishes, sugar beets, potatoes… The saying at bath time was always, “If you don’t wash your ears, potatoes will grow in them” but I upped the ante on it with my little guy and do “potato checks” to see if we’ll have enough for dinner tomorrow ;)

15 Sue { 05.26.14 at 1:56 am }

We were told that if we picked our nose our heads would cave in, if we brought blossom into the house your mum would die, that the ice cream only played his music to let you know he had run out of ice cream :)

16 cheryl { 05.25.14 at 10:51 pm }

If u made a bad face n the wind changed it would stay that way.
Walk on a crack, break your mothers back.
Telling lies caused pimples on your tongue./or turn it black.

17 deborah { 05.25.14 at 10:30 pm }

My mother told us that if we swallowed pits from a watermelon one would grow in our stomach. She also told us that if we crossed our eyes they would stay like that.

18 Henry { 05.25.14 at 7:29 pm }

be home before dark ot the fairies will get you.BIG story behind that saying.

19 Leigh Francis { 05.25.14 at 7:22 pm }

My parents tried everything to get me to stop sucking my thumb, to no avail. Finally, my sister told me matter of factly, “If you don’t stop sucking your thumb, it will fall off!”

That worked!

20 Thersia Ray { 05.25.14 at 6:40 pm }

My Mother told me if I drank coffee it would turn my heels black. And when I had a sty…to stand in the fork of the road and say sty sty in my eye go to the first person that passes by. It was our mailman. Of course it didn’t help my sty..but I was kept preoccupied watching for the mailman everyday to see if he got it.

21 Liz { 05.25.14 at 6:22 pm }

My Dad use to tell us if we made ugly faces, and someone slapped us really hard on the back, our face would stay that way forever.

22 Jeanne { 05.25.14 at 5:45 pm }

My uncle used to tell us that if we drank coffee when we were young that it would turn our stomach black

23 Shay { 05.25.14 at 5:22 pm }

My parents told my brother and I that if we picked our nose, the spider who lived in there would bite us.

24 Iris { 05.25.14 at 4:32 pm }

When I was young I asked my Dad, if I came from the cabbage patch,he said,””who’s been telling you those lies? A buzzard laid ya on a stump and the sun hatched you” lol love ya Dad <3

25 Alex { 04.22.13 at 8:10 am }

Say ooh yuck to something you don’t like double helping doesn’t work with stuff you like, a nickel for every time you put your knee on the table

26 Cynde { 04.18.13 at 2:56 pm }

sties in our eyes were caused by peeing on the road
swallowed apple and orange seeds would sprout trees from our belly buttons
belly buttons are there to keep our bums screwed on
eating bread crusts would make our hair curly

27 Rhonda { 04.16.13 at 7:25 am }

Don’t walk under a ladder it will give you bad luck
then when I was grown nursing my children my grandmother made me a huge pancake to put around my breast for a clogged milk duct! It works!
we also made pepper relish and my hands got burnt from the peppers and she had me to put my hands in milk!

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