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Farmers Almanac
The 2017 Farmers Almanac
Farmers' Almanac

The Art of Kissing a Woman

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The Art of Kissing a Woman

Although times have changed, kissing hasn’t. Here is some timeless advice from the 1896 Farmers’ Almanac:

Don’t peck a woman on the forehead or the end of the nose, or jerk at her bonnet strings in haste to get through.

Do take the left of the hand of the young lady in your right; let go of your hat, just let it drop.

Throw your left hand over the lady’s shoulder and let it fall down to her waist.

Draw her gently and lovingly to your heart.

Don’t be in a hurry. Her left hand is in your right… clasp it firmly, gently, and with thought and respect.

Don’t be in a hurry. Her head lies on your shoulder.

Look into her half-closed eyes. Lean forward with your head, not your body.

Take a good aim… the lips meet… the eyes close… the heart opens…

And once again, don’t be in a hurry!

The heart forgets all bitterness, and the incomparable art of kissing is learned!

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If you notice a hole in the upper left-hand corner of your Farmers' Almanac, don't return it to the store! That hole isn't a defect; it's a part of history. Starting with the first edition of the Farmers' Almanac in 1818, readers used to nail holes into the corners to hang it up in their homes, barns, and outhouses (to provide both reading material and toilet paper). In 1919, the Almanac's publishers began pre-drilling holes in the corners to make it even easier for readers to keep all of that invaluable information (and paper) handy.

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